Sun Signs Read online

  js

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  From: cosmicgirl

  To: 2good4u

  Cc: starlight; blondeshavemorefun

  Subject: just checking

  Dear (loyal) Subjects, (I feel like Royalty)

  Do you believe in astrology (horoscopes and all that) or are you what Mr. Selenski calls a skeptic (non-believer)?

  Kaleigh

  Please start using “proper” spelling and punctuation in our letters re astrology. I am now officially collecting data. Thanks.

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  From: 2good4u

  To: cosmicgirl

  Subject: Re: just checking

  I believe in you, cosmicgirl, and if you’re a child of the stars, so am I.

  2good

  ---------------

  From: starlight

  To: cosmicgirl

  Subject: Re: just checking

  Hey Kaleigh. I’m a total believer. What’s not to believe?

  Shari

  ---------------

  From: blondeshavemorefun

  To: cosmicgirl

  Subject: Re: just checking

  I believe in Truth. (How’s that for good English?)

  Truthfully yours,

  blondie

  ---------------

  From: cosmicgirl

  To: jelenski

  Subject: One less variable

  Dear Mr. Selenski,

  Just thought you’d like to know that all my subjects are believers (I think—although I don’t really understand the response from the one who calls herself (himself?) blondie. What’s her/his real name, anyway?).

  Sincerely,

  Kaleigh Wyse

  P.S. I don’t need an extension, thanks anyway.

  P.P.S. Are you an Aquarius, whose traits include intelligence and honesty as well as unpredictability and contrariness? (No disrespect intended!)

  ---------------

  From: jelenski

  To: cosmicgirl

  Subject: Re: One less variable

  Nope, not an aquarius either!

  js

  Jan. 21

  Dear Immortal Gemini Twin,

  The cosmos is unfolding as it should, the last week hasn’t been bad, and us mortal Geminis are counting our blessings.

  Right.

  Let’s see. What were those blessings? Hmmm.

  1. I’m alive.

  2. I’m not dead.

  3. I can still count.

  I did start the science project, just like my weekly ’scope said to. It might be okay. My Leo team seems cool. More than cool, really. Maybe life can be fun again. For a while, anyway.

  I can hope and have faith. After all, I am a Gemini. And we know what that means.

  That’s it for this week,

  Your mortal (for now) twin sister

  Gather Information

  Forecast For the Week of

  Jan. 22 – Jan. 28

  by B.A. Stargazer

  Gemini (May 22 – June 21)

  You may feel you’ve entered limbo

  land this week, Gemini. Waiting is the

  worst. Get active. Build an interesting

  life outside of the main event.

  ---------------

  From: 2good4u

  To: cosmicgirl

  Subject: hey girl!

  how goes the research on astrology? i’m dying 2 get started as a guinea pig. i’ve even practiced up on my pig squeals. 2 bad u can’t hear them.

  and i was wondering, are you a fellow leo, one of the chosen ones?

  2good

  ps. did you know guinea pigs eat their own poop?

  ---------------

  From: cosmicgirl

  To: 2good4u

  Subject: Re: hey girl!

  It’s not going well AT ALL! There’s all this stuff I had no idea about!! Ascendants. Transits. Rectification. Progressions. Aspects. Nodes. Who would have guessed? It’s all complete mumbo-jumbo. I never thought astology could be so complicated.

  Here’s an example. There’s a “transit” that is currently taking place. I quote: “Saturn will be making a passage through Cancer from June 4 (this year) to July 15 (in 2 years! Talk about a slow passage!). Though we may complain about what we don’t have under the influence of Saturn, we will learn some valuable lessons from it. Saturn also sits right on the ruling planet—the moon—for the next year. This will bring many changes. Our political rulers will change. We will have to make sacrifices.” Blah, blah, blah. Like, who cares!!

  What have you gotten me into, 2good?! (And how can u get me out?!) How do I write a report about something that makes absolutely no sense! AHHHHH!!!!!

  Kaleigh

  P.S. Are you telling me YOU eat your own poop (because u are my guinea pig)?

  P.P.S. No, I’m not a Leo. I’m a Gemini—flexible, logical, quick-witted and mentally ambitious.

  ---------------

  From: 2good4u

  To: cosmicgirl

  Subject: Re: hey girl!

  if you’re so logical and mentally ambitious, how come you’re having so much trouble with this science report? why don’t you go straight to the source and ask the horse—i mean an astrologer— for help?

  and what can you tell me about leos—other than we are party animals—which i already know?

  2good

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  From: cosmicgirl

  To: 2good4u

  Subject: Re: hey girl!

  u are SO smart, 2good! i can’t believe i didn’t think of that myself, especially as i’m so ingenious (another gemini attribute).

  The horoscopes that i like to read are written by someone named b.a. stargazer. i checked, and her email address is listed on her webpage! i’ll email her right away. She’s unbelievable, as i’m sure you’ll find out when i get to the experiment part of this project. Her forecasts are always so accurate, and she’s right on when it comes to geminis. She says we have a lightness of spirit and a faith that a happier world is a possibility.

  yep.

  She says geminis are kind, considerate and creative. We are also lively, versatile and communicative.

  uh huh.

  Gemini is the sign of the twins. One twin is mortal and the other dwells with the gods. (I’m in weekly communication with my immortal twin! lol)

  She also says we’re talkative. moi? never! :) Okay, just the mortal one.

  Anyhow, once again u are a lifesaver, and not the kind that comes in 100 flavors. (i wonder if being a lifesaver is a leo trait?) Other leo traits include being ambitious, a lover of the limelight, extroverted, confident, exuberant, dramatic and charismatic. Do you see yourself in that description? i suspect you’re confident, (and maybe just a little overconfident?) judging by the name you’ve given yourself in your e-address!

  i hope all the planets are lined up in perfect harmony for you today.

  kaleigh

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  From: cosmicgirl

  To: B.A. Stargazer

  Subject: Science Report

  Dear Ms. Stargazer,

  I think you are an amazing astrologer. Everything you say about my sign is true of me—the good stuff, anyway — and your weekly horoscopes are brilliant. Thanks to you, I’m even thinking of becoming an astrologer someday.

  I am a distant learner, which means I don’t attend school but do all my work through correspondence. Right now I’m writing a report on astrology for my science class. At first my teacher didn’t want me to choose this subject because he doesn’t think astrology is really a science. I am out to prove him wrong!

  I have 3 distant-learning buddies who are Leos and who are going to track whether your predictions come true for them. I already know your predictions are always dead on for me. It should be fun! I also have to Gather Information on astrology (my science teacher is big on the Scientific Method). I’m wondering if you could help me with my report. If so, my first question to you is, how exactly do you determine what is going to
happen for each of the signs on any given day, month or year?

  Your loyal Gemini,

  Kaleigh Wyse

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  From: cosmicgirl

  To: 2good4u

  Cc: starlight; blondeshavemorefun

  Subject: Data collection

  Hey Leos. Good news for me! I found my favorite astrologer’s website and on it are our daily, weekly, monthly and even yearly horoscopes. This saves me from having to cut and paste and send them to each of you.

  Check it out at www.sunsigns.com

  Even though I haven’t done all my Information Gathering yet, you might as well get started with your data collection. Here is what I suggest you do:

  1. Right now (okay, after you’re finished reading this) print out the monthly and year-long horoscope for the sign of Leo. Memorize them. (just kidding!)

  2. Print out the Leo weekly horoscope on the Sunday of each week.

  3. Check out the daily horoscope each morning.

  4. After you put your jammies on each night, spend a few minutes thinking about your day and decide whether the daily horoscope was accurate. Then reflect on whether the weekly one is coming true. The monthly? The yearly?

  5. Keep an online journal with your reflections and thoughts that you can attach to an email and send to me upon request. (Don’t you just love my teacher-speak?)

  Any questions?

  Okay, ready, set, go!!!!!

  Kaleigh—the bossy one

  ---------------

  From blondeshavemorefun

  To: cosmicgirl

  Subject: just one question

  what if one of your loyal subjects doesn’t wear pj’s?

  blondie

  ---------------

  From: cosmicgirl

  To: blondeshavemorefun

  Subject: Re: just one question

  R U SERIOUS? No cuddly warm flannels? I live in mine! Never mind, reflecting in the nude is perfectly acceptable.

  Your Highness

  PS. I used to think you were a girl. I know they say blonde girls have more fun. Is it true about guys?

  Kaleigh

  ---------------

  From: blondeshavemorefun

  To: cosmicgirl

  Subject: Re: just one question

  what makes u think i’m a guy?

  blondie

  ---------------

  From: cosmicgirl

  To: blondeshavemorefun

  Subject: Re: just one question

  I don’t know. Maybe because you sleep in the nude. That seems like a guy thing. So what are u?

  k.

  ---------------

  From: blondeshavemorefun

  To: cosmicgirl

  Subject: Re: just one question

  that’s for me to know and you to figure out!

  blondie

  ---------------

  From: cosmicgirl

  To: blondeshavemorefun

  Subject: Re: just one question

  Forget it! That will drive me craaazzzyyyy!

  k.

  ---------------

  From: blondeshavemorefun

  To: cosmicgirl

  Subject: Re: just one question

  crazy is good! LOL

  ---------------

  From: cosmicgirl

  To: B.A. Stargazer

  Subject: Science Report

  Hi Ms. Stargazer,

  Remember me? I’m the student doing a report on astrology. Even though you haven’t had a chance to reply to my last letter, I felt like writing to you again. I hope you don’t mind. I realize now that the question I asked you about writing horoscopes for each sign was unfair. It’s so complex! You would have to write a whole book to explain that to me, wouldn’t you? Lol.

  I’ve been doing some more reading, and I think I finally understand what birth or natal charts are. I’m also beginning to understand that it is by reading the transits that the astrologer figures out how the cosmic energy affects us. Unfortunately, there are still LOTS of things I don’t understand. You must have studied astrology for years and years before you became an astrologer! Is there a School of Astrology that you have to attend?

  I always read your horoscopes. This month you mentioned that Uranus is moving into Pisces for the first time in eight decades and that Uranus is “seldom lucky, but always interesting.” You said there would be “unpredictability overall.” You also said that this would affect Gemini by shaking up our inner worlds. This does not sound like a good thing!

  I have to admit, this forecast has me a little worried. I have had some seriously bad luck in the past year—healthwise—and my life has been anything but predictable. Can you tell me anything more about what this forecast could mean for me?

  Your loyal Gemini,

  Kaleigh Wyse

  ---------------

  From: cosmicgirl

  To: 2good4u

  Subject: Let’s get started!

  Any time now, my furry little guinea pig, you can get started on the experiment. Are you still squealing?

  By the way, do you know if blondeshavemorefun (blondie) is a girl or a guy?

  Kaleigh

  And what is YOUR real name? Rumplestiltskin?

  ---------------

  From: 2good4u

  To: cosmicgirl

  Subject: Re: Let’s get started!

  no, i’m not rumplewhatshisname, but you’ve made an interesting observation. mr. rumple solved the fair maiden’s problem in the fairytale, right? didn’t he turn straw into gold or something?

  so it would follow that since i solved YOUR problem (a topic for the science project), u need to guess my name correctly or you’ll have to turn your first-born child over to me, as decreed in the fairytale. :)

  Maybe blondie is a eunuch.

  2good

  ---------------

  From: starlight

  To: cosmicgirl

  Subject: Collecting Data

  Kaleigh,

  Have I got news!

  But first I must tell you, this data collecting is too much fun. (I’m using my best English here, girlfriend, but seeing as I don’t actually go to school, please excuse me if I screw up occasionally. LOL.) Anyhow, I’ve printed off the yearly, monthly and this week’s Leo horoscopes. Wooeee! I can’t believe I never thought of following this horoscope stuff more closely before. This Stargazer babe is cool. It’s too soon to tell whether everything is going to come true in the long term, but after reading what she said about the coming year and this month of January, I sure hope so! My love life will be hot hot hot. LOL. As if that could happen here! (Although after what happened yesterday, you never know. But I’m getting to that.)

  For this week, she said, “People notice you more than usual now and you’re in fine form.” Well, seeing as I live on a remote little island with only a handful of neighbors and almost no other kids, I thought that was totally not about to happen and maybe she wasn’t so smart after all.

  But (and you’re not going to believe this, Kaleigh), just after lunch yesterday, I was sitting at my kitchen table looking out at the ocean, wishing I was just about anywhere else and wondering how on earth I was going to get noticed. Out of nowhere a yacht pulls up to our dock and out piles a whole family—a dad, a mom and two guys—aged 15 & 17! I thought I must be dreaming. I blinked my eyes a couple dozen times and shook my head hard, but when I looked again they were still here! LOL! Apparently this family is taking a year or two off from their regular lives to cruise the west coast, but they were having some engine trouble so pulled up to the first dock they spotted. Both sets of parents tinkered on the engine most of the afternoon, so I was left with the guys, Matt and Chris. They are home-schooled, which is quite different—I found out—from taking correspondence classes like us. The biggest difference is that their dad is their main teacher. Can you imagine?

  Anyway, I can’t decide who I like better, Matt or Chris. They are both cute, super nice, smart and definitely not shy. They seeme
d about as happy to meet a girl roughly their age as I was to meet them! We spent the afternoon comparing notes about our various “schools,” played computer games and hiked across the island. By the time the yacht was fixed it was getting dark, so they stayed for dinner and slept here (on their boat). After breakfast they sailed away (sob), but I have their e-addresses so we are going to stay in touch.

  Kaleigh, it was the most fun I’ve had in weeks! It made me all that much more determined to get off this stupid little island and get a real life complete with boys, movies, sports, parties, music lessons, friends, more boys — you know — all the stuff most kids have every day.

  Anyhow, that is my first report for your science project. Now I’m wondering how you’re planning to tabulate this information. However you decide to do it, give Ms. Stargazer a big from me this week!

  Shari

  ---------------

  From: cosmicgirl

  To: starlight

  Subject:

  Re: Collecting Data

  Wow, Shari, that was a good day. But I can’t help thinking that it was all the eye-blinking/head-shaking that got you noticed. LOL

  So that’s why you’re a distant learner—you live on an island. I can see how you might not like it, being so removed from everything, but believe me, there are definite advantages. For example, imagine going to school with a couple of thousand other kids and having to watch which hall you walked down because each one is owned by a different gang. Walk down the hall of a gang that doesn’t like your particular color (skin or hair)/religion/sex/grade/sexual orientation/mother/father/brother/sister/ astrological sign :) and you’re in big big trouble. I should know. I’ve been to that school. And sports are not so great either. If you’re not one of the best on the team, forget it. Coaches play the best players and everyone else warms the benches, if they haven’t already been cut. I tried dance classes for a while, but all those hours in front of mirrors … yuck. And besides, I’m not into looking like a toothpick, which is the right dancer look.